How I Spent My Feast of the Assumption Day

Over the last few years, I've often found myself in situations where I have looked around and wondered "How exactly did I end up here?"

Last summer, a former assistant to the Pakistani ambassador invited me to their embassy to watch a famous singer perform. I was one of the only white faces among a crowd of diplomats and personnel with ties to the Middle Eastern country and I seemed to be the only person unfamiliar with the sitar. Still, it all felt glamorous and cosmopolitan, and after the show, I crowded into a black SUV along with a group of Pakistanis and we drove to a sheesha cafe. During the ride over, the driver played Pakistani and Indian folk songs, and while the rest of the passangers sang, wailed and danced along, my Singaporean roommate and I kept to ourselves, feeling as if we were what was wrong with the picture.

Three years prior to that, I had just moved to California, where I initally had no friends other than my sister. I went on a few dates with a friend of my landlord's, a guy named Ahmad, who was in his mid-20's of Chinese-Iranian descent. On our third outing, he took me to a family party where we were the only adults under 40. His mother and her sisters drank lots of wine and danced, while I nibbled at Persian food that I hoped was vegetarian. Ahmad's relatives winked at me and said how nice it was to see Ahmad with a girl and I spent most of the evening trying not get pulled into the circle of dancing women.

During my study abroad trip to Australia, after spending a whole night awake at pubs and clubs, one of my friends (Peter) said that he was taking a three-hour drive to a beach town that morning, and could use some company if anyone wanted to come along. Most of the crew bowed out, but my best American friend (Tracie) and I decided we'd love to go for a swim. We chatted excitedly on the way up, and once we reached Bunbury we went to the beach while Peter attended to his business. Tracie and I fell asleep on the beach four hours later-- hungry, dehydrated and suffering from third-degree sunburns. More than wondering how we ended up there, we asked ourselves what we had been thinking (particularly during the next painful week.)

I had another "How did I end up here?" moment this afternoon when I had lunch at the retirement village with the sisters of the Incarnate Word. It actually seemed very natural to attend mass there (for the Feast of the Assumption), congratulate the nuns who were celebrating their anniversaries with the order and then to eat and mingle in the cafeteria with the retired nuns and lay people who live at the community.

Meghan (the assistant program director) complimented me afterwards on branching out beyond the missionary group and approaching strangers with my tray of food and joining them for a meal. (Fish, no surprise.) It was ironic because in high school, I was the girl who was alone at lunch because I didn't have friends to sit with, and I often hung out in the library or stayed late after class studying in order to avoid the embarrassment of being alone.

Reflecting on this made me realize that I have come a long way since childhood in terms of my ability to put myself out there in potentially uncomfortable or awkward situations. I had a "How did I end I up here?" moment when I realized that most of my friends in their late-20s are in offices on Friday afternoons and not socializing at a retirement center along with a few girls just out of college. (Except for Meghan of course, but it's her job.)

When having such moments, it's best not to analyze what brought you into the situation. Sing, dance or smile along, or find someone to chat with, and don't worry about what else you should be doing. This was the message that I got out of a video that Meghan played this morning that documented the experiences of modern-day Catholic missionaries.

"It's best not to think too much on your motivations for being here," said a missionary in Thailand. "Instead, focus on being here and doing God's work."

There are many reasons as to whyI joined this program, ranging from wanting to save the world, to wanting to travel and change my surroundings. I have learned that once I am in Mexico everything may be different than I anticipated--I may not feel utilized or necessary and I could get fed up with poverty, bugs and cold showers.

If that happens, my goal is to forget about how I ended up there and what I expected, and to become absorbed in making the most of the situation. All of my past awkward situations may just have been homework for the test to come.

However, I'm not too worried about being able to weather difficulties. After all ,Sister Magdalena--the little, 82-year old nun who loves Ice Cream Fridays and was sitting across from me today-recently returned from a two-year stint in Peru. If my new friends could handle mission work, then I should be able to too, and I know I'll be getting their prayers of support.